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10 Books that will transform your marriage

Shall we name this project – Project Happily Ever After? Well, that’s how it’s supposed to be! Let us tell you – it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really, really hard, and it’s going to take a lot of effort, a lot more than you think it will but you will be satisfied with the transformation. We know Rome was not built in a day and the same goes for marriages: It can’t be fixed immediately but happen it will, definitely. We have a list of books for you that might well turn out to be game-changers for struggling marriages. We think each of these books would make a great bridal shower or wedding gift as well!

1. “The 5 Love Languages” By Gary Chapman

As anyone who has attended one of his marriage conferences knows, Dr. Gary Chapman’s expertise in marriage begins with the success and failures he and his wife Karolyn have experienced in their marriage for more than 45 years. The 5 Love Languages outlines five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls “love languages”: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy).

2. “For Men Only: A Straightforward guide to the Inner Lives of Women” By Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Finally – You Can Understand Her! There are two clear ideas that we earned from this book that we haven’t gained elsewhere (From His point of view.)1. Women’s preoccupations can’t just be laid to rest by arguing out their merit. They are like programs open on a computer. You can minimize them but they can’t just go away until the anxiety is directly resolved. The little “x” can be closed only when resolved.2. Women have just as strong a need to be “pursued romantically” as men have being “sexually desired”. 

3. “For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men” By Shaunti Feldhahn

The man in your life carries important feelings so deep inside he barely knows they’re there, much less how to talk about them. Yet your man genuinely wants you to “get” him—to understand his inner life, to know his fears and needs, to hear what he wishes he could tell you.

4. Fighting for Your Marriage”

By Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, and Susan L. Blumberg

Fighting for your marriage is a  best-selling classic on marriage enhancement and divorce prevention, featuring the research and changes of heart in our culture and society.This book is all about conflict resolution, so we think that anyone could benefit from reading it—anyone who has family problems, friends with problems, or conflicts of any type.

5.“For All Eternity” By Dr. John L. Lund

This book will make you laugh as you and your spouse see yourselves in Dr. Lund’s descriptions of the differences between men and women and how we communicate. You will be enlightened as you take his Love Language Quiz and find out how to speak your spouse’s love language. You will learn how to use active and reflective listening skills to resolve conflict in your relationships. Finally, you will understand the art of giving an apology and accepting responsibility.

6.“The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict” By The Arbinger Institute

Technically, it’s not a marriage book. However, it’s a book that could change the face of humanity. Through an interesting and intriguing story, we learn how and why we contribute to the divisions and problems we blame on others and the surprising way that these problems can be solved.  It’s a wonderful book to improve your marriage, but honestly it will also improve all of your relationships and interactions with others.

7. “When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages”

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages is a must-read for all married couples. It is a tutorial about working with challenges that can occur in any relationship. It teaches how to be flexible when dealing with people and events. In this book, the Parrotts talk about how every marriage begins well but bumps into bad things. They outline how marriage can survive bad things happening with five basic things—responsibility, hope, forgiveness, empathy, and commitment.

8.“Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage” By Fawn Weaver

Happy Wives Club chronicles the author’s journey through 12 countries and 6 continents in search of the universal secret to a happy marriage.The book initially discusses the concept of happiness, and tells the reader that it is an internal choice, “not based on external circumstances” that, in relation to the 12 secrets, is vital to a healthy and happy marriage. Find out what these 12 secrets are!

9. “Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy

By Gary Thomas

Your marriage is much more than a union between you and your spouse. It is a spiritual discipline ideally suited to help you know God more fully and intimately. Sacred Marriage shifts the focus from marital enrichment to spiritual enrichment in ways that can help you love your mate more. Whether it is delightful or difficult, your marriage can become a doorway to a closer walk with God. Everything about your marriage everything from the history you and your spouse create, to the love you share, to the forgiveness you both offer and seek by turn is filled with the capacity to help you grow in Christ’s character.

10.“The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code With Your Mate” By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Dr. Eggerichs best-selling book, Love & Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other. Why does communication between couples remain the number one marriage issue? Because, says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, most spouses don t know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in code, but they won t crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect.

And there you have it – a dozen of our favorite books that will strengthen and transform your marriage.

Rightly said by Kahlil Gibran – 

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

-The Prophet

Do you have any other great marriage books that you love and would recommend?  Please let us know in the comments below.  We are always looking for more to add to our reading list!


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